I am sitting in church right now. Yes, RIGHT NOW. No I am not having a shift in principles, I’m not coming back to Christ. My grandmother went 93 this week, and as expected she requested family members to come to church.
Every time I come to church I see things with different eyes. At one point I was “in the church.” I was transfixed by the mysticism, the magic, the pomp, and the rituals. Now it all seems so silly. Firstly, I am not making fun of what christians do, that’s their business. But for ME it is weird now. I watch as my grandmother, who is on a fixed income, give away money. To appease a God that they say can do anything, but somehow needs money. The speaker at this moment comments on how it’s the “last days” [insert voice indicating impending doom], because of what he reads in the newspaper. Like these things have not been going on for thousands of years. Stand up, sit down, stand up, bow down…church is like an aerobic workout. Several church visits ago (almost 3 years now), I witnessed communion. Symbolizing drinking blood and eating flesh is not cool.
It’s so strange how life can make you see things differently. I used to believe in all of this stuff, now I don’t. I had questions back then, whispering in the back of my head like the distant sound of thunder, that you are not quite sure you heard. As time went on those questions needed answers and now that I can not find the answers, I have concluded that it’s all a farce. Now, today, sitting in church, I see it got what it really is….plain ole tradition.
(Sorry I’m rushing this so please forgive any grammatical or syntax errors)